Mike's Memoir #1

Today the Mike VanGalio got accepted to law school. Then, went to a funeral to pay his respects and unsuprisingly stole the spotlight. As he confidently sat in the pew he was bombarded with compliments and encouragement by fellow funeral goers. As he embraced the loss of a friend he knew that life could only get better. Later, at the wake, the environment was more relaxed and people where enjoying the time spent with their loved ones. As Mike made his way through the party, he stumbled upon an elderly women who complimented him on his ridiculously stunning good looks. As Mike made small talk with this women, she proceeded to inform him that she was too much of a women for him to handle and that Mike needed to move along. Confused....No, shocked! That any women would think she could be too much for the manliest of all men, Mike VanGalio, he had to investigate. The elderly women, Betsy, insisted that at the ripe age of 87, was too feisty for the young, tan, and in his sexual prime Mike VanGalio. As Mike argued that she couldn't be farther from the truth, Betsy insisted that her 70 year old son wouldn't approve of her dating a young and incredibly handsome man like Mike VanGalio. At this time, Mike exclaimed, "What the fuck!" He didn't know whether to be more confused that Betsy thought he wanted to date her, or the fact that Betsy had a son that was old enough to be Mike's grandfather, making Besty old enough to be Mike's great grandmother. Now more disgusted than anything, Mike had to escape the tight grip of Betsy the cougars hand from swiftly squeezing his tight buns of steel. Barely escaping the death grip of the cougar, Mike quickly paid his respects to the family and made sure to avoid Betsy on his way out. Full of courage, Mike proceeded to go out to the local night club and grind on every girl he saw, in hopes that Betsy the cougar did not find him in the alcohol saturated state of mind Mike drank himself into. Unfortunately, Mike woke up alone, but at least Betsy wasn't there!